It’s been a long time in coming – months in fact – to make this decision.
Since the holidays, I’ve been wrestling with God about the writing He’s called me to do. The genesis of my writing career was with blogging, and for awhile I had a passionate fervor for it. He called me to do it, and I did it obediently and consistently. However, the last year and a half, I’ve deeply struggled to “find my groove” again.
I’ve been disobediently avoiding God’s prompting for me to just “let it go” (no “Frozen” pun intended). Conversations have occurred between my husband and I for months now, and The Holy Spirit has been speaking through him for me to just “let it go” so I can focus the writing He wants me to do better (so He’s glorified).
I’ve struggled and wrestled because as a writer, one of the best ways to be “noticed” is to have your work out there consistently. Alas, this is where I have fallen. I have allowed myself to be sucked into the realm of writer instead of obediently allowing myself to simply be in His realm where the writing He desires me to do, honors and obeys Him and Him alone.
“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” Colossians 3:23 (NLT)
Concerning the blogging I have been doing for awhile now, it’s been for others (and even myself – desiring to help others) above God. This, friends, is one of the main areas of my life my flesh is riddled with: the temptation of idolatry.
Anything and everything – even the dreams and callings God gives – can be used in ways that turn the heart from God as priority. And blogging has become the idol I never expected it to become.
So, as March 8, 2015, I will no longer be blogging. Instead, His desire for me is to focus on the writing He’s called me to in book writing (alongside my own, continued, personal journaling). It is hard to say goodbye to this old friend, but as I heard a confirming message the other day in church through the sermon our pastor gave, I clearly knew God was not letting me off the hook from this decision to either continue choosing this idol or Him.
I must obediently follow Him & Him alone.