I’m struggling to get this blog post written articulately without getting over emotional. It’s dealing with a topic that has had me boiling mad for the last six months, and it’s not getting any better. I’ll do the best I can with what I’ve got.
The rise of extreme feminism in our culture today and how it’s affecting me as a mom of a fantastic boy, and the wife of a very loving, supportive and caring husband has me out of my mind mad and frustrated.
On any given day when I’m out grocery shopping with my son (who mind you, will one day be a man), he will get ogled over for his respect and kindness to anyone he sees. He loves to talk everyone’s ear off because that’s just his personality. Sometimes I’ll get the comments directed toward me about him and him being a “boy.” And I admit, I’ve gotten caught up in a bit of it myself when he’s pushed me to my edge for the day.
I’ll also admit, once I realize the error I’ve made, I go back and apologize to my son for doing that later on.
Because, he’s my son – and he’s God’s creation and child.
He will not learn respect unless it’s given to him by his parents first – that includes me!
And it boils my blood that I’ve allowed myself to get sucked into this extreme feministic mindset that boys, in the heat of conversation with another woman, are too energetic and too much to handle; about as much as it boils my blood that these things are insinuated about my son. Another thing that has been under my skin for a long time is the reality of husband’s being lazy, good-for-nothing, imbeciles who can’t think for themselves one iota outside the concept of a football game.
Look, I get it. Not every boy or man out there has a good mindset. However, neither does every girl or woman.
It frustrates me that somehow, because I’m a woman, in the eyes of the culture, I am somehow superior to my husband and even my son. That I need to be bowed down to in certain fashions because “I am woman, hear me roar.”
Ladies, I was raised with that mentality. My mother is the truest extreme feminist I’ve ever known. And I met my husband with that mindset.
And I’ll tell you what. That mindset, plus all the other garbledy-gook that was in my head due to the emotional and mental abuse that burdened my mind from her (and the enabling of it from my father), nearly ended my marriage 13 years ago. I fought like mad, the thoughts I thought in my head when I first met my husband. I wanted him to be a man, but at the same time, I wanted him to roll over and do whatever I said to do. The latter part was how I was raised, but the former part is what I deeply desired…and needed.
I wanted my cake and eat it too when it came to men, but the reality was, I was in a relationship. And it takes two to tango.
My mess is just as messy as his, and my stuff doesn’t smell like roses while his smells like garbage just because I have female parts.
It’s taken me eight years, since becoming a mama of a boy, to see just how emotionally-laden boys (men) are! Our culture seeks to squash those emotions. Yet, when you squash emotions of any human being – man or woman – most will act out in human ways to cope.
Men aren’t the only one’s who struggle with porn and sex, nor are they the only ones who struggle with anger and addictions.
And when I am approached by another woman who ogles at my son at the age he’s at now, but will probably feel threatened or somehow disgusted by him when he’s sixteen or older, my stomach turns. It turns in disgust, and anger flows through my veins. It only amplifies when I experience women who somehow look down on my husband because he’s a man.
Look, I’m a woman. Through a through. I am female. I was born such, and I have the thoughts and emotions of a woman. I have the woman t-shirt, hat, and bumper stick to the “Girls Club.” But to many, I know I’m not a part of this club because I don’t wear portrayals of our body parts on my exterior to show people just how “woman” I am – and that I need to have equal everything to that of a man.
Ladies, no. I don’t need to have equal everything to that of my husband or my son.
I have equal rights with my husband and son, but I don’t need to be equal with them in everything.
To be a woman, means I stand for equal rights of men and boys – just as many men and boys out there stand for the equal rights of women and girls.
God created us ALL (man and woman) in His image. One is not superior to another. As Christian men and women, we’re both to support one another, equally, as the sinful creatures we are – saved by grace.
Love to the woman from the man shows respect for the woman, and respect for the man from the woman shows love. And all in all, they both equally honor God when this occurs.
My son needs the same respect he gets now, tomorrow when he’s sixteen and older. And I will fight like mad to make sure he gets that from me so he one day will know what it looks like from his one-day-to-be-wife. I won’t be perfect with it, but he will see me fight to respect him – even when I need to discipline him. In turn, he will see me respect his father – as the man God him to be.
Ladies, I get it – women are being oppressed. I hate to see it happen, but you know what? Boys and men are also being oppressed.
Humankind is being oppressed.
It’s time we put down the dividing lines of exclusivity and extreme “ism’s,” and just see one another as God see us all: fallen humans in desperate need of a savior, so we don’t perish eternally apart from Him.
My son, your sons, your grandsons, your husbands, your fathers, nephews, etc…they are all no less than you and me. And it’s time we fight for them as those boys and men who are fighting for us.
Who’s with me?